Changing my View on Iraq

I've changed my position on the War on Terror. You'll have to hear me out on this one, there are a lot of points that I have to make, so you'll have to stay with me. I've got an idea to end the problems of the globe, once and for all... and then we, the Far Neo-Con Christian Right Wing (TM), will finally be able to get everything we've ever wanted!

I got to thinking recently, and I think I've finally clued in... George W. Bush's War on Terror is the wrong way to go about things! We need to end the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan immediately, pull out, and just let things take their course... and then we, the Far Neo-Con Right (TM), will finally be able to get everything we've ever wanted! It's the only way!

Now, some may doubt, but hear me out on this one... once we've pulled out, the extremists will finish their takeover of Iraq, and the Taliban will return to power in Afghanistan. That may seem like a waste of all our efforts for the last few years, but have no fear! Trust me! It will actually allow us to finally succeed in our Neo-Con Right Wing hidden agenda (TM)!

Once their control is established, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will be able to realize his ambitions of local domination by annexing both of these nations. Syria will then ally themselves with him... they already have weapons transportation agreements, so they'll just finalize their union on paper. Of course, now that he will be the regional super-power, we will have to give him some room to manouver. He'll take out Israel, but in order to reach our goals, we'll have to turn a blind eye. It's OK, the UN won't step in, they've gotten sick of annually denouncing Israel anyway. It will create a new problem of the Jewish refugees, but that will be Iranistan's problem... it won't be our problem anymore!

Once they secure the Mid-East, the European phase will be initiated... Europe will be parallized with mass protests. (France last year? It was just a practice run) For our plans to succeed, Europe will have to be immobilized in the short term, to allow for the final phase to be implemented.

George W. Bush will then have to quickly complete the negotiations before his term ends. During this phase, suicide bomb squads will be activated throughout the US, and the left will stand up and shout that Bush is to blame. There will be protests in the streets, and the nation will be parallized. THEN... he'll finally do what the left has desperately wanted for years... he will announce to the world that he has recognized the error of his ways, announce his resignation, and that he has come to terms of peace with Iranistan... the full and unconditional surrender of the West!

Now, this, I know, is the point where I've lost you completely. BUT HANG ON! Don't you see? Once our surrender is signed, WE WIN! Our secret, hidden "Neo-Con Right Wing" (TM) agenda will finally be complete!

What is it that we've really wanted all these years? TO RID THE WORLD OF LIBERALISM! Only by coming to terms with Iranistan will we be able to do this!

Think about it... the left will take to the streets en-mass celebrating their victory... "WE'VE FINALLY GOTTEN RID OF THAT EVIL TYRANT, GEORGE W. BUSH!!!" They'll all hold candles in the air and sing "Imagine", because the world will finally be one... all united under the banner that we once fought as Global Terrorism. They'll be singing, hugging, crying for joy and dancing in the streets. There will be no more suicide bombers, because Israel will be gone, and the left will have the "peace" they've said they wanted all along. The official mouthpieces for the left, the Main Stream Media (CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, CBC, BBC, and the ETC.) will spread the news far and wide, "IMAGINE: WORLD PEACE IS FINALLY HERE!"

Then all we have to do is sit back, smile, and watch while our Neo-Con hidden agenda (TM) is implemented for us! The crackdowns will begin! Since Gimto will be empty, Ahmadinejad will have a place to send all the media! "The First Amendment? Oh, you must be thinking of the United States of America... THIS IS THE UNITED STATES OF IRANISTAN! Now get on the plane!" Yes, we'll finally silence all those annoying voices! There will be no dissent heard on the nations airwaves... because Al-Jezera West (formerly Fox News) will be the only voice permitted! You see, President Bush will be very smart in his negotiations... he will ensure that "Freedom of Religion" is the only freedom carried over from the former laws of the United States, the one freedom that the left hates and wants to get rid of... to ensure that we, the Neo-Con Christian Right-Wing majority (TM), will be able to continue life as we always have, unimpeeded any longer by the left!

For us, there will be no change to our daily lives! Most of us men prefer our women to be kept in the background, at home, barefoot and pregnant anyway, right? (Don't worry... we'll make sure our Anne will be given some gig with Al-Jezera West) Having our women wear a burka in public isn't too much to ask, now is it? So long as we don't have to convert to Islam, we can tote the line on most issues with them, right?

Think about it! Oh, my fellow Right Wingers (TM), We'll finally have what we want! Women will be in their place, abortion will be outlawed, the sexual permissiveness that has festered here in the West will be completely repressed once again! Oh what joy it will all be! We'll be in a religious state once again! Of course, it will be administered by Iran, but with our secured religious freedom, nothing will really change for us... but the left will finally be destroyed!

So, I ask you, my fellow Right Wing Christian Neo-Cons (TM) band with me and join the left, for now, in calling for an end to the War on Terror... we've been wrong all this time! Ending the war will in fact usher in the Utopia that we've always wanted!

President Bush, I ask you, I beg you, END THE WAR NOW! Pull our troops back! Why waste their lives when we can achieve our goals through peaceful negotiation!

We can win! Our Neo-Con Right Wing hidden agenda (TM) can be impemented at last!

How about this?