Terrorist Prisoners

LOL... just had to post this... no idea where it came from. Eat this Democrats!


The LARK Program from Washington, DC

A person wrote a letter to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive taken during the Afghanistan war. Below is a copy of the response.

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The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, D.C.

Dear Concerned Citizen:

Thank you for your recent letter criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. The administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, we are creating the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care.

Your detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.

Although Ahmed is sociopathic and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome this character flaw. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences.

Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless you feel that this might offend him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him. He has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the dress code that he considers appropriate, but I'm sure that over time they will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the bhurka. Just remind them that it is all part of respecting his culture and his religious beliefs.

Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you inform us of the proper way to do our job. Take good care of Ahmed and good luck!

Cordially,
Don Rumsfeld

Mr. DITHERS

Hey! Check out the Toronto Star! (pg. A3) And I heard it was quoted in "The Economist" in Britian, that a new nickname has stuck to the PM... "Mr. Dithers". (now, the question is, where did they in Britian get it from? LOL) Well, it appears to have stuck, so now he'll have to shake it.

I'm no prophet, but here's what I'm seeing... if this Wednesday's Federal Budget is not done just right, we may be going to the polls... and I'll have to dig out my Conservative T-shirt and start planting lawn signs... excuse me while I go raid my closet!!!

Bill C-38

Okay, so here goes. The bill to change the definition of marriage is on the House floor.

Here's my hopes for it... that it is debated for weeks, then goes to committee... then the Government collapses before they can push it any further. Then Mr. Martin makes it his one and only election agenda... and Mr. Harper shows Canadians that he's the only one talking about real issues... and then the Conservatives get to form the next government.

At least, that's my hope in this debate.

Of course, my primary hope is that this bill gets killed, the piece of junk it is. I'm a man of faith, and I'll tell you one thing... the bill defends (for now) my right not to perform same-sex marriages... but it in NO WAY protects my right to define same-sex marriage as wrong. Thus, the religious freedoms of those who's faith oppose same-sex marriage are NOT protected by this bill.

Let's see where all this goes. Stay tuned for more thoughts...